Option #2

I went to Aldi grocery store this afternoon. When I arrived I noticed the outside air temp to be 104 degrees. It was hot! I was still in a skirt and sandals as I'd been at work all day, but I just had to get some food for dinner tonight, and food for the weekend.

I parked further down the store to be able to park in the shade. This had me just a space or two past all the handicapped parking places. I was just happy to be able to park in the shade and not walk in the full sun! I had my quarter ready to be able to retrieve a grocery cart. Got my cart, ran through the store, bought and bagged the food, and again went back down to my truck shielded in the shade. Once I put my food in the back of my Tahoe, I mentally debated: do i return the cart and get my quarter back (I mean, how important is a quarter, you know?), or do I leave the cart alongside the grocery store so the next handicapped person who arrives and parks gets a cart right at their parking place, and a cart they don't have to pay a quarter for. I opted for Option #2, and carefully parked the cart alongside the store hoping the free cart would bless someone, thinking him/her to be a handcapped driver.

As I pulled out of my parking place, I got a not-so-friendly glare from another closely-parked customer. I then thought maybe I'd made a mistake! I always return my cart - by not returning this one I'm a huge loser! But then God blessed me...

As I drove very slowly towards the exit, I see a mom and her three kids near the entrance of the store looking around for something... They were looking for a cart! The approximately 9-year old son saw my cart alongside the store, runs down to retrieve the cart, and runs back to give it to his mother. Ahah...Option #2 worked, just not in the way I had thought it would.

This family probably didn't have a quarter on them. I've been there. Decide to stop by Aldi for just a few things and leave there making multiple trips to the car trunk because I don't have a quarter for a cart. This family was blessed by the cart, and all I was out was a quarter and a not-so-friendly glare from an unsympathetic customer.

So what was the right thing to do? Return the cart, get the quarter, and miss the blessing of seeing this family be excited about finding a free cart? Or putting up with the glares of others and blessing others?

I chose option #2.

Blessed Backyard

Oh how I LOVE my backyard! We must have approximately 20 trees on our property (Thank you, God!) Several of these trees cover our backyard porch. I've been sitting outside for hours this afternoon with my laptop enjoying the birds, squirrels, sound of kids playing ball, and surfing the internet. It's been a wonderful afternoon.

New birds we've seen over the past two days: the
Great-Tailed Grackle, or Common Grackle (above)
and the beautiful Brown Thrasher (below).

Thank you God for allowing me the privilege of enjoying your creation!!!!

Undeserved

Lewis was up in plenty of time to get to school this morning, but he still left later than he should have, and he (and his brother) would be late; being counted as an unexcused tardy. Lewis asked me as he was walking towards to door, "PLEASE call me in as excused, mom!". The reason: one more unexcused tardy and he'd have detention. (Not something new in this household, he just doesn't want to have another detention being so close to graduation.)

Well, yes his alarm did not go off this morning as planned as a result to the power outages we experienced. We had terrible thunderstorms, wind, and tornadic activity all afternoon and into the evening; BUT he still got up in time to get ready. So why should I honor his request?

Because I believe in grace. He didn't deserve to be excused, but I did it anyway. I called the school, talked to a sweet woman named Stephanie, told her the boys would be a bit late, but were on their way. She then blessed me by telling me how much she likes Lewis - what a great guy he is.

I've thought about grace quite a bit today. Sometimes I run late myself and pray for all green lights on my way to work. Even though I don't deserve all green lights to make my way to work faster, God answers my prayer. Grace. Sometimes I speed as I race to pick up the kids from school, then I see a police car coming my way. I pray that I not be pulled over, even though I deserve to be ticketed. God answers my prayer. Grace. Forgetting...misplacing... procrastinating... We could all get in a lot of trouble and get "detention" more often, but we serve a Great God who believes and gives something so freely - so undeservedly - Grace.

Ephesians 2:8, "For by such grace you have been saved through faith. This does not come from you; it is the gift of God ."

Giggling Coming from the Basement

Lewis has a friend over. A sweet girl from school. He hasn't had a girl here in a few months so it's nice to hear the cute, sweet, giggling going on down there. Lewis has a great sense of humor, and he's a creative, spontaneous young man. I can see why this friend is interested in spending time with him.

The basement door remains open...chocolate chip cookies have been made and delivered. It's a great night! :)

A Mother's Prayer

My friend Dianne Bartel is celebrating her 70th birthday this month, March 2009. She showed great excitement at our last MOPS meeting about turning 70 saying with a cheer: she loves it! Usually women don't get real excited about turning a year older, but Dianne looks at birthdays a bit differently than most of us. You see exactly half her age ago, 35 years ago, Dianne lay in a bed with cancer, uncertain as to her future. She earnestly prayed for God to heal her to allow her the privilege of having another year, many more years if possible, to see her children grow, her grandchildren, and now her great-grandchildren. Thirty-five years ago, at the age of 35, Dianne didn't know her future, but she knew and trusted in an Almighty God.

Thirty-two years ago my mother also lay in a hospital bed at the age of 34 suffering from cancer as well. Her prognosis was not a positive one and she also prayed to the same great God that she would see her children grow, her grandchildren, and dare she pray, her great grandchildren. Two great women - one awful disease - one incredibly similar prayer to One Great God.

Dianne's prayer was answered in the way she prayed. My mother's prayer was not. My mother went to be with Jesus just a few short months later leaving behind three children aged 14, 12 (myself) and 8, not to mention a devastated diabetic husband.

I've thought a lot of this parallel over the past couple days. It proves just how much I don't know God, but how much I truly love Him. I'm not bitter. I'm not lost. Quite the opposite...my siblings and myself have all been carried by this Great God for many years and we're all married to awesome spouses with three kids each, and we all serve the Lord in His sanctuary! My mother's prayers for her children have been answered, she just isn't here to see it.

The choice is mine - to be bitter or to be better. As the Matt Redman song goes, "My heart will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be your name!"

Job 1:21: "The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. Praise the name of the LORD."

Isaiah 5:8-9: "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways." This is the LORD's declaration.
"For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways,

and My thoughts than your thoughts."

OK - How Weird is THAT!

I blogged the previous entry about dreaming of becoming an earth moving truck driver. An hour or more later, I'm tired and ready to go to bed, but I keep moving to the next blog of a friend of a cousin of a spouse, etc. etc. etc. I then read this:

"Hey leader, just give up. Throw in the towel, raise the white flag, just quit trying so hard... After all, is this really worth it?"

Read the entire entry for yourself here.

But he ends up saying this perfect, weird thing:

"...sometimes, we simply need a good meal and some sleep. Right thinking and perseverance... is it in your arsenal or is it a leadership lid? God has given us a vision and has put us where we're at with our current team. What thinking will we choose?"

Perfect timing. Thanks, God!!!

Dreaming of a New Job

I reported to work this morning, taught the preschoolers about Jesus healing a blind man, but 90 minutes later I was clocked out and on my way home. Today marked the 16th day in a row I was working without a day off. My body is tense; I've been verclempt (is that a word?) most of the day; my house is in disarray. I truly needed a day off - physically and mentally. So - when I got home I put on some soothing music, made some banana bread, cleaned up my bedroom (clothes were everywhere!), washed dozens of towels, then made the yummiest chicken noodle dinner (thanks Paula Dean!). Oh, I even had a 30 minute nap! I felt so much more normal after getting all these things accomplished, but nothing compares to what Lewis said when he came home from school: The house smells amazing! I can't wait for dinner! Ahhh. Normalcy again.

But I visited Target this afternoon on my way to pick up the other two boys from track practice and I saw this man in a large earth moving machine, just driving his big truck around some dirt heaps, crossing the street. Back and forth he goes. Two other men stop traffic on the road so the earth mover can keep moving. The tires alone on this earth mover are taller than myself, so it's a pretty large machine. I stopped there on the road watching this truck thinking: I could do that. The earth moving driver-man is in a warmed cabin, he's wearing grubbies, he probably didn't even shower before going to work, and he gets to sit and drive this large machine back and forth, back and forth all day long. Then when the day is done, he locks it up, turns in the key to the foreman, and goes home. He probably doesn't wake up during the night, like I do, thinking about classrooms, snacks, volunteers, schedules, overcrowding, overdue movies, did I say enough, did I say too much, and how to make a better program for my early childhood kids - because remember: Sunday's Coming!

So... Today I dreamed of a having new job - being a earth moving truck driver. Regular hours. Days off when the weather is bad. No concerns for what clothes to wear, or what practical but stylish shoes to run around in. Finsh one job, move on to the other. No real commitments. No close relationships.

But that's not what Jesus did. Jesus lost sleep. Jesus had a heart for people. Jesus woke up early in the dark hours of the morning to pray for those around him. Jesus had the hardest job in the world to do, and he did it perfectly. The only reason I was able to go to work today and teach the Bible to so many beautiful preschoolers is because Jesus did it first. He has set the example and as long as I continue to do what He calls me to do, He'll equip me to get it all done.

But I can still dream of being an earth moving truck driver.

A Smell to Wake Up To... NOT!

This morning as I was getting out of bed, I could still smell in the air what we had prepared for dinner last night: french fries deep fried in peanut oil. I don't really like to deep fry, but it's what we did last night per Cameron's suggestion. The fries were REALLY good!

So, I rise out of bed smelling the grease lingering in the air, decide some strong brewed coffee would smell AWESOMLY (is that a word?) better, but as I walk towards the half bath off the kitchen to feed the dog, my nostrils are accosted by another smell - an awful, stinky, smell of raw sewage!

I peak into the bathroom where we have a white tiled floor and see no discoloration on the floor - whew! Nothing overflowed or backed up...but as I walk into the bathroom to pour the dog food into the bowl, I see the problem: someone didn't flush! EEOOOWWW! There was an anonymous icky, gross, unflushed deposit!

This was nasty! Being that one son and I were gone last night, it had to have been another specimen of male in the house. But as the other two boys came downstairs for breakfast this morning, and as their mother quizzed them in various ways, trying to get to the bottom (no pun intended) of this smelly surprise, nobody fessed up!

It must have been the same person-of-interest who steals unmatched socks out of the dryer. Anybody else have one of these mysteries?

Heartbreaking News

A local family I've never met. They are friends of one my MOPS moms...

A child that has gone to be with Jesus. A heartbreaking story that you can read on your own by visiting the family blog site.

If you read in the blog noted below, Cora's mother, Jess, says how so many of the other children from the PICU have gone home; that there is just one other child in the PICU left, besides her Cora. And she says, "We want it to be our turn to go home." She did. She went home...and her only child went home as well - to be with Jesus in Heaven.

http://www.themcclenahans.blogspot.com/

Tragic.

Held
sung by Natalie Grant.
Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was when everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was when everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was when everything fell we’d be held.

Please pray for Cora's mom and dad as they deal with this tragic event.

What if I REALLY had only One Month to Live...

This is the sermon series this month at church AND the challenge our pastor has put before the congregation: everybody in a small group to discuss the book and study "One Month to Live" by Kerry and Chris Shook.

I've been reading some of the book, but not all of it. I've almost refused to answer any of the questions because there's just so many of them (the book, the companion challenge planner, the challenge group interactive guide). I just can't keep up! So...last night at church, I was touch-up painting some foam "wooden" posts with my friend Latisha, who is also in a small group, and she asked me: What would you really do if you only had one month to live? So...this is what I've been thinking:

1. I'd look through all the photos I have organized (NOT!) with my precious hubby and sons and have a ball laughing and remembering our growing years and many adventures. I wouldn't be concerned about which pile the pictures were in, and I wouldn't care that they weren't in a photo book.

2. I'd print all the photos we have stored on various computers around our house. The digital camera is a great one...IF you're busy printing the pictures as you save them!

3. I'd organize a European Vacation with my family - 36 hours in Rome... 36 hours in Paris... 36 hours in Berlin... 36 hours in whatever city we choose to visit. (Greg and I spent 36 hours in Paris back in February 1998 and it was one of our most favorite memories EVER! )

4. I'd not be too tired for my husband! (wink)

5. I'd spend more time on my beautiful back porch watching the simplicity of life played out by the many squirrels and birds that congregate, play, and eat in our back yard.

6. I'd write all my church volunteers a heartfelt note of appreciation for their diligence, dedication, and determination to make it possible for God's Word to be spoken and taught to the kiddos each Sunday.

7. I wouldn't worry about wearing a size **, but instead for the first time, I would just love my body and not be worried about it's size! (I swear I was born on the wrong continent! In Africa I'd be worshiped for my shapely self!)

8. I would devour God's Word each day, any spare moment of the day, to continue to prepare me to meet my Creator!

9. I'd hug a little longer, give another kiss, smile more, laugh louder, dance to some music, drink some champagne, prepare meals because I wanted to not because I have to, smell the clean laundry as I fold it, and maybe even take a bubble bath.

and 10. I hope I would share Jesus with everyone I would come in contact with. With only one month to live, I'd have only 30 days to share Jesus Christ, by word and/or by deed, with those I talk to every single day.

So what's holding me back from doing these 10 things starting today? What's the point of reading this book, answering the questions (well, some of them), attending a weekly small group, and yet NOT doing what we think is truly important IF these next 30 days were our last?

I'm still processing it all and trying to find the balance between reality and dreaming. In the real world, money and time are still the restraints that can keep up from doing what we'd really like to do...especially over the next 30 days.

Working Mom < Being Mommy

Lewis is sick. Lewis is REALLY sick. After missing three days of school, I took him to the Dr. today to find out what I already knew by looking at the back of his throat: he has strep throat. Even after taking two extra strength ibuprofin, his fever was still 102 degrees at the Dr. office. He's achy all over. His throat is a red, raw, swollen-with-white-little-spots mess. I took him to the Dr. today, Friday, even though he started feeling bad Wednesday morning. I could have taken him to the Dr. on Wednesday and he wouldn't have gotten so bad, but I was a working mum on Wednesday and he seemed to feel better in the afternoon. I should have taken him yesterday, Thursday, but again I was working and I was hopeful he was getting better. Would of, could of, should of...he still has strep throat! And today was his worst day ever! He wouldn't even get out of bed.

I'm not good at juggling being a working mom and being a a mommy at home. Now that I work more hours in a week, the laundry gets piled up higher than it used to. The fridge isn't as full as it used to be. The housework is shared by more of us, because I just don't have the time at home, or the energy at home, to do all that I used to do when I was at home more during the day.

I apologized to Lewis today for not taking him to the Dr. sooner. He replies, 'It's no big deal, mom!'. Well, it is for me. I feel as if I let him down. As mothers, don't we WANT to be able to do it all, do it all well, and do it all so everybody is happy?!? Well - it's impossible. We can't do it all perfectly all the time.

I wrote a note to a mom this week who is feeling so discouraged. She has a strong willed 2-year old and feels inadequate and imperfect to tackle the hard preschooler issues. I wrote her a note saying: we as mothers may be imperfect, but you are the perfect mother for your child. I believe that for me as well. I am not a perfect mother, but I am the perfect mother for Lewis, Cameron, and Isaac. I may get it wrong sometimes, and have my priorities misaligned and misplaced, but I am still their mother and I'll keep trying to get it right.

It's good when our boys see that we're not perfect. I think if they think we're perfect they'll look for a perfect woman to be the perfect mother to their children. It's an unrealistic expectation.

In Lewis' 17 years, almost 18 years on this earth, I've almost always been right in my diagnosis of all his ailments. I've always taken him to the Dr. in good time and he benefitted from rapid diagnosis and then medical treatment if necessary. This time was different. I didn't act quickly on my inner gut feeling. I'm not trying to blow it out of proportion...I'm just dealing with my own plate of guilt.

In conclusion: being a mommy is more important that being a working mom. I believe there is a balance where we can still be the mom our kids need, as imperfect as we are, and still work to help financially support our families. I'm still trying to find that balance.....

Teaching Point: Obedience = Rewards

This week’s story out of Luke 5:1-11. Amazing! There was a time in history when crowds of people would gather around the Lord to hear Him speak the very words of God. Jesus is being crowded out - closer and closer to the water’s edge He is pushed – so He gets in the boat to teach the people. I understand - He needs His space! These eager listeners were so hungry for the words Jesus spoke, they couldn’t get close enough to Him! Somewhere in time we’ve lost that passion for the words of God, and Satan rejoices.

“Put out a bit deeper, Peter, and start fishing!”, Jesus says. (vs. 4). Peter responds with a: been there, done that. “We’ve already tried that, Jesus!” and then says, “But because you say so, I’ll do it!” (vs. 5). What “But Lord’s” are you speaking today? “But Lord, I’ve already tried!”, “But Lord, I can’t say that!”, “But Lord, not today!”, “But Lord, I’m too busy!” , We’ve all spoken our own “But Lord…” So today, let’s try what Peter said, “But because You say so, I’ll obey!” Here’s what one commentator said: “The Lord did not say how deep [to take the boat]. The depth of the water into which we sail depends upon how completely we have cut our ties to shore, the greatness of our need, and our anxieties about the future. Yet the fish [the rewards] were to be found in the deep, not the shallow water.”

Read the rest of the story: Tired and weary Peter, already up all night long from working and fishing, yet catching nothing, had put his nets away (vs. 2 – they had been washing their nets because the fishing trip was over! Fishing at night = selling fresh fish the next morning= making a living.) Jesus says, ‘Go out deeper, [Peter] and let your nets down again’. What is your answer? Have you been up all night? Are you tired and weary? Have you already tried it once and reaped nothing? Jesus says, ‘Put out into deep water [your name], and let down the nets for a catch.”

Today is a new day. Let’s listen to God’s Word and then do as Peter did: “But because you say so…I’ll obey.” Move out to the deep waters in faith, gather the rewards, share it with some friends (vs. 7), then fall at the Lord’s feet (vs. 8) in humble submission at the love He has for us and the care He has for our daily tasks (and livelihood).

Teenage Boys Walking Around in Tight Girl Pants...Not Cool!

It's just one phrase out of many that our precious niece, Kristin Baker, wrote in this amazing monologue presented by DC Curry at Granger Community Church on January 7, 2009. Go Kristin!

Teaching Point: Being a Good Samaritan

We pass people every day…people pass us by every day. We pass our kids, our husbands, our coworkers, our neighbors, and they pass us. Which “man” are you today? Are you the wounded, needing the care and concern of others, but being overlooked by the other’s busy day? Or are you the one who sees the wounded, being moved with compassion and providing the care they need to recover and move on? I’ve been both many, many times in my life. I’ve been the silent wounded who is in such need of care from others, but can’t verbalize where it hurts or what needs to be done. I’ve also been the “priest” or "Levite" who just doesn’t have the time to stop and help, or doesn’t have the “want to” to help another in need because I might get too involved, too distracted, or too late. I’d like to say I’ve been the Good Samaritan more than any of these other characters…the one who sees the need and immediately provides assistance no matter the cost to myself. But I cannot honestly speak such a thing.

Today, this week, and this coming Sunday, you will meet and greet many people. Some will be the "wounded" in need of great assistance; some will be too busy to notice; and some will see the need and reach out to help with great compassion. I’ve thought a lot of this story these past two days as I have agreed to testify in court in March for a hurting family I don’t know very well. I'm not doing it on behalf of the church, but I can do it as a Good Samaritan. I keep wondering what affect this will have on me, on my testimony. Will I be cross examined, put on the spot, and choke up on the witness stand? I honestly don’t WANT to get involved, but I feel I must. Being a Good Samaritan isn’t taking the easy road. The priest and the Levite ignored the need and took the easy way out so they could go about their scheduled daily business. The Good Samaritan was presented with a difficult, possibly even intimidating situation, and got involved. It cost him time, money, the giving up of his own resources, and great effort.

Let’s all be Good Samaritans this week, this month, this year. We don’t need to go looking for opportunities to help; God will provide them for us.

Luke 10:33, "But as he was traveling along, a Samaritan came across the man. When the Samaritan saw him, he was moved with compassion. "

An evening trip to Big Lots

I made an evening run to Big Lots, just three short days away from Christmas. Why didn't I prepare ahead of time!!! Agh!

When I arrived at the store, the check-out lines are long with other last-minute shoppers. It was still early in the evening, but the plan was to find what I needed, pay for the goods, then get home to finish preparing the gifts.

I spent probably around 40 minutes walking around the store to get the items on my list, and when I got to the check-out lane to leave, I was the only shopper there ready put my items on the counter, pay, and leave. There was only one cashier at a register, so I proceded to her lane and began putting all my items on the counter. I greeted her, smiled, and began stacking all my items, but she wasn't processing them at all. As my pile got taller and taller, she finally explained that she was waiting for the store manager to come log her in, or open the register for her, so she could begin processing the goods.

The store manager was nearby helping another customer. The manager was on the phone, off the phone, looking at the sales ad, back on the phone, talking to the questionning shopper, off the phone, talking to an employee, looking at the calendar, paging someone on the intercom system, and so on. But why was she NOT helping this cashier open up the register! My cashier was the only clerk there and now there was a LONG line of other ready-to-leave shoppers behind me...it shouldn't take this long!

This blond, sweet, patient cashier made small talk with me. She really was very kind. I tried to remain positive and patient and understanding because it really wasn't this cashier's fault the wait was so long, it was the manager's lack of priority, but the cashier never criticized her seemingly uncaring manager, she just smiled and encouraged me saying, 'it wouldn't be too long and she'd get me out of there real quick.'

I imagine I waited at that check-out lane for nearly 15 minutes, waiting for the manager to open the cash register for this cashier. In that LONG 15 minutes, this precious cashier and I made small talk. She asked me what I was going to to do "this", and how was I going to use "that", and I answered her questions in short answers. But what really got to me is when she asked me where my husband works. I suddenly had to think: had I been kind and patient? My husband is a pastor of a church...how had my attitude and behavior been? Was I a good ambassador for Central Community Church, and more importantly, for Christ? Would how I had acted and talked and treated this cashier encourage her to attend my church? I then answered her: he is a pastor at Central Community Church, on Maple road. She was familiar with this big church on Maple, even had a friend who attended there regularly. She then said: I think I'll come to your church and try it out.

This experience was a humbling test for me. Three days before Christmas when all the gifts would be opened, and I was at the store on a Monday night buying more gifts that had yet to be prepared and wrapped. The long wait was a test of my patience. It wasn't the cashier's fault that the manager hadn't opened her cash register, and it wasn't the cashier's fault I had waited 'till the last minute.

I hope I passed this test and that this cashier will visit our church. Maybe she's already been there...maybe not. If my attitude had been disagreeable...if I had been impatient...if I had sighed and complained about how hot I was getting with my coat on, waiting for so long, I doubt this woman would have looked at my example and said, "Wow! I want to go to her church!". No, she probably would have thought the opposite, never stepping into a church again.

As Christians, we are being watched and judged by others. I am not responsible for how others respond to me, but I am responsible for my own actions and behavior. In that moment of trial at the check out lane three days before Christmas, when this sweet cashier asked me where my husband works, I stopped and evaluated my behavior before I answered her question. I wanted to be a good witness for Jesus Christ, but I shouldn't have had to stop and think about it. My attitude and behavior should always be one that my Lord and Savior would be pleased with...especially around those who don't know Him, and that could be just about anyone, everyone, we come in contact with!

Colossians 4:6, "Your speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person. "