I Laughed Until I Cried

Has this very strange experience ever happened to you? It happened to me yet again tonight. I'm watching a movie upstairs in the den while Greg and the boys are being ever-so-serious watching 'Braveheart' downstairs in the basement. Because I CANNOT tolerate the blood and gore (it makes me cry), I watch chick-flicks instead that strangely sometimes, make me cry. Ha! Tonight was one of those nights.

I absolutely love the movie 'Sahara' with Matthew McConaughey. So I rented 'How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days', which stars Kate Hudson and (guess who) - Matthew McConaughey. At one point in the movie (scene 12 - Our Family Album, in case you really want to know), I laughed so hard I cried. In fact, I had to STOP the movie, go to the bathroom, and still I was laughing! In the bathroom! It totally cracked me up! The tears running down my cheeks were completely silly and unexpected.

I remember a distinct time when Cameron cried because he was laughing so hard, many years ago. He was very confused by the feeling, and asked us why he was crying when he actually had been laughing. Greg and I reassured him, but being that Cameron requires understandable answers to EVERY question and sorts of confusion, we talked that feeling/sensation until it was DEAD! Agreeably, it is a strange sensation - to laugh until you cry.

Tears have come unexpectedly many times for me in my life. Sometimes it's been because I've been laughing uncontrollable, but there have been other times as well...

...like when Greg has been so gentle and tender, and I experienced true love for the first time.

...like when the Lord has shown me my past sin, and I've been so sorry and then truly repentant.

...like when I hurt a friend to the soul, when I should have been unconditionally loving.

...like when my mother was lowered into the ground and I saw a family member look at me, at the age of 12, with incredible pity.

...and then visiting this grass-covered gravesite as an adult, missing many good years with my mom.

...like when I realized God had been close by me, had never left me, yet I accused Him of forgetting me.

...like when I had to get on a bus to travel to the airport, flying to Indiana to attend my beloved Grandmas funeral, leaving my husband and boys behind.

...like when my boys were very young babies and I couldn't help but look at their precious faces, lying in their crib, fully realizing their innocence and dependence.

...like when someone I sincerely trusted deeply and unfairly hurt someone I love.

...and when Greg was laid-off from Hewlett-Packard, two weeks before Christmas (and then God turning it into one of the best experiences of our married life!)

There have been many times when I've cried unexpectedly, for whatever reason, yet I know the Lord has saved each tear I have shed (Psalm 56:8). He is SO precious to me, as I am to Him. Precious enough that He would capture my every tear in a bottle. I can't thank Him enough for the tears He gives me to express my innermost feelings, especially when they come upon me...unexpectedly.